5 Ways To Find Yourself Again After Becoming A Mom
As moms, we can often feel like we don’t have any time for ourselves. Between our kids, households, chores, work, etc… where is the time to focus on what we want and need? Below I have 5 ways to find yourself again after becoming a mom. Enjoy!
The Realization; I Need A Freaking Hobby
About 2 weeks after I quit my job, my husband had his holiday company party. I was a little nervous because I knew people were going to be asking me what I did for a living. This was the first time I would respond; stay at home mom.
It felt so weird to say this, as it was so new. While we are at the party I was speaking with someone and he asked what my hobbies are. Ehhhhh….I felt like a deer in the headlights, I had no answer and I joked; I’m a mom, I don’t have any hobbies hahaha…
He asked well what do you like to do for fun? I remember looking at my husband and then looking at him and was like… um, I watch Making A Murderer. That was my response. My hobby was watching Making A Murderer (which is very good by the way). Now, don’t get me wrong, I personally think watching tv is a perfectly fine hobby, but I “watch” tv as in it’s on in the background when I do other things. It’s not really a hobby of mine.
This encounter got me thinking, holy shit. What the hell are my hobbies??? I don’t really workout anymore (that use to be my one and only hobby), and I wasn’t blogging that much at the time. Wtf do I like to do? Clean? I do like to clean…but is that a hobby? Talk about having a freakin moment. I decided to get to work and figure out what I enjoy doing (outside of kids/family) and what my hobbies are. After an extensive brain dump and a time audit, I figured it out. Below is what I did to get a little bit of Me back. =)
5 Way To Find Yourself Again After Becoming A Mom
1. Make a list.
DUH. Did you think I would have any other advice?? Ha. Seriously though, make a list (brain dump) of all the things you used to like doing as a kid. Things you liked doing before you become a mother. Things you wish you had time to do. Assess that list; does any of that sound fun to you now? Here is my list: exercise, cleaning, organizing, coloring, being outside, blogging, planning.
Now look at that list. Do you want to do any of that? Using my example, exercise is something I want to be a hobby again. I know I enjoyed it and would enjoy it now, but getting back into it has been difficult. Cleaning, organizing, blogging, and planning are all things I do within this blog which is definitely a hobby of mine. I don’t really like coloring anymore, so I will scratch that. I enjoy being outside in specific context, I like walking, hikes, and yard work.
2. Make time for what you enjoy.
Do a time audit; assess how you are using your time within the day. Are you really that busy that you don’t have 15 minutes to work on that hopeful hobby of yours? What can you remove from your day to make more time? Less scrolling? Less tv? Ask for help to allow more time for what you really want to do.
3. Make an effort.
Just because you want to do something, doesn’t mean it will just magically happen. Even if you really want to do it. As I mentioned before, something I use to love (exercise) has been really difficult for me to get back into. I need to set aside time for it, have the supplies ready, and push myself to do it so it can become routine for me again.
4. Try new things.
Still unsure of who you are and what you like to do? Try new things! Take classes, join a mom group, do a mom’s night out, read some books, listen to podcasts on different topics. The sky is the limit here. Your hobby can be trying new things =)
5. Think outside the box.
If someone asks me what do you like to do in your spare time; responding with cleaning and organize might feel silly, but its the truth! Cleaning and organizing calm me down and I enjoy it! It is what it is ya know? Own what you enjoy doing!
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This post really hits home for me! I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been asked what my hobbies are and my only response is “taking care of my kids.” I’ve been a single mom for the majority of the last 10 years, so I didn’t even remember what my hobbies were before I had kids.
I did a pretty big brain dump last summer and wrote down every little thing I enjoy. Maybe it’s not specifically a hobby (coffee isn’t a hobby, is it?) but it helped me learn more about myself and who I am outside of being a mom. It is still a daily struggle for me, but I am slowly becoming more than just Mom.
I say coffee is definitely a hobby!! 😉 You are doing such a wonderful job as a mom, I can tell just by your comment. Keep doing what you are doing!! <3
I love the blog! It was very informative.
I love this and can totally relate to transitioning from being a successful employee to a stay at home mom. Before kids working was my hobby LOL This is such good advice to start reconnecting with yourself and discovering the “new” you.
It can be a challenge but so worth it!!