Oh, mom guilt. What a funny, silly, annoying thing. It is incredible the amount of things a mom can feel guilty for. Guilty for taking time to shower, grocery shop alone, working out, taking a break from her kids, the list goes on and on. Then there’s the guilt for feeling guilty, and then the should’s and shouldn’t. I shouldn’t feel guilty, why do I feel guilty? I deserve this! But do I? The long ongong conversation I would say most moms have in their head.
Guilt for prioritizing alone time to get stuff done.
For the past 6 months or so I have worked 3 days a week (9 hour days) but send my kids to daycare 4 days a week. I feel as though this would free up our weekends because I can get all the chores done on Mondays with my kids being in daycare. This would cost us more money, but would free up so much time. My husband agree, and we added the day. Then I was so overcome with guilt. I should be able to do all of this with my kids here. My kids sleep through the night and nap sp well during the day. I should be able to get everything done duyring these times. That’s what all other moms have to do. We could be using the extra cost in daycare on so many other things.
On and on, week after week I would feel so bad sending my kids off on Mondays. I would enjoy a workout class while my kids were in daycare and my husband was working so hard at his job, I enjoyed my day, cleaning the house, doing some meal prepping, getting in my workout all kid free, and I lied. Pretending I worked form home on Mondays if it every came up with friends. How could I admit to another stressed out mom that I actually pay and send my kids to daycare so I can have an entire day a week to myself??
I gained up enough courage to start using the excuse that our daycare has a minimum we have to pay each week, which is true….but why does it even matter? To be fair, my Mondays are full of hard work that make me a better person, and lessen some of the chaos that occurs during the week, but I have to constantly remind myself of this in order to not let the guilt take over.
Guilt for putting my kids down for bed early.
The last 1-2 hours of any day are by far the longest. They drag on and on. The kids are extra crazy at this point. I eagerly put them to bed 15min early so I can just lay on the couch and numb out ot my phone. This is on any day of the week. A day I have worked all day or a day I have been at home. No matter the time, bedtime is always drug out and sometimes I just cant take it. Both kids end up crying and the doors are shut and I am done. They just need to go to sleep already!
About 15 mintues into them falling asleep I am overcome by guilt. Maybe they just eneded one more hug, one more story. A few more minutes of chatting about their day. I love them so much, and feel ike a terrible mom for putting them donw a few minutes early.
Why is this so hard? What am I doing wrong? I go into their rooms, giving htem an extra hug. Sometimes they awake and sometimes they don’t. I normally start to crying looking at these perfect innocent children that just wanted extra time with their mom. In reality, putting your kids down early doesn’t make you a bad mom. I still hug them, provide them with so much love, talk about their days. There is just always something to feel guilty about. Heaven forbid us moms don’t feel guilty about something.
Overcome the Guilt
It can be so difficult to not let your emotions take over and know you are doing the right thing when it comes to raising your children. There are so many comparisons and ways to do things, everyone is so different. What it comes down to is doing what is right for you and your family. At the end of the day your kids love you so much. Taking the time to be present is so much more improant than stressing over putting your kids to bed a little early, or taking time for yourself in order to get things done.
- Join a community for like-minded moms. We are so lucky to have access to so many wonderful groups. Whether they are in person, or online having an outlet and people who understand exactly what you are going through can help.
- Journal. Let all the thoughts and feelings flow! Remind yourself of all the wonderful things you do and what a great mother you are. And dont forget, YOU ARE A WONDERFUL MOTHER!
- Deep breaths. When in doubt, take a deep breath. This can carry you through anything.
Looking for a mom community to vent, relate, and organize all the chaos that is driving you insane? Join my FREE private Facebook group to connect with a group of moms that need help with the day to day operations and to get stuff done without losing their sh*t.